Effectively Interacting. Or, Kicking Off Advice about Avoiding Jackassery

This blog is an attempt to take the advice out of my head and my class, and pass it on to those folks who might find it useful in their own friendships, families, romances, work places, and throughout other spheres of their lives. Along the way, there's bound to be tales of my own friendships, families, romances, work places, and outdoor adventures, because they are rife with examples! I'm geeky enough (or perhaps academically trained enough) to include references to the Communication concepts and theories I mention for those who might want to know more. I'm grateful enough to those who make my life possible to offer Shout Outs for those who've influenced the post's existence.

Wait, conflict can be GOOD??

"Have you talked to your group that you feel like you're doing all the work?" "No. I don't like to be 'that guy'." Well kid, none of us do. I mean, some people do, but then I'd be having a different conversation, probably with his group members, about how to accept the constructive criticism being...

“Wait, what did you mean?” Language as ambiguous, abstract, and arbitrary

Texting is an art form, requiring skill, nuance, attention to detail, and a very solid knowledge of your audience. Take for instance, the classic but annoying response: K As in, "okay, no problem, got it, I understand." Now, add a period: K. What's the difference, you ask? According to my students, my source of millennial expertise on...

Online Dating is the Neighborhood Bar of Our Day, Let’s Work on Your Pick-Up Lines.

Neighborhoods are now global, and populations have exploded. The pool of people you could potentially be dating is now diluted by everyone else who’s moved in, and dispersed into whatever neighborhoods their work or finances take them. You should say there are fewer parts per million concentration of dating potentials. As a result, we increasingly seek out online forums to meet the people who are anonymously living their lives just feet or miles from where we are, perpetual ships passing in the night. An online dating profile is the blinking light in the dark that says “I’m here.” The trick then is to determine whether that light signals safe harbor or rocks ahead. Those lights in the dark have only a moment to get their message across – a few photos, a few hundred characters, and that’s it. To best deploy those resources, here's a woman's guide for men seeking women about what and what not to include in brief online dating profiles.

Intent vs. Impact! Or, the Fundamental Attribution Error

"People are pretty much alike. It's only that our differences are more susceptible to definition than our similarities."  ~ Linda Ellerbee This and next week, I'm taking my turn on the other side of the classroom, taking a 40-hour mediation training class, 8:30am-5:30am. Doing so, I've swiftly been reminded that learning is exhausting. A concept...

#loveletter to the woman crying outside the coffee shop

I saw you crying on the bench, on the phone, and kept walking inside to order my scone and tea. I didn't stop because I'm always torn between the desire to let you have your space for your grief, and to tell you you're not alone. Countless times, in countless towns, I've been on that...

Resolving to Reduce Mixed Messages – Understanding Interactions’ Content & Relational Levels

"831" I've recently learned this is texting slang for "I love you." It translates to something along the lines of "eight letters, three words, one meaning." (Back when pagers were the rage, it was 143, representing the number of letters in each word. That's right, folks - PAGERS.) The thing is, the idea behind it...